The last few months have been very difficult. I am not sure why? Maybe it is combination of items that have contributed to this feeling of being puny. I lost one of my dear brother-in-laws, neglecting the gardens, hot weather, this disease that creeps evey closer to consuming me. However, I am once again, being trained, trained to endure. This training, this endurance, helps me to understand how my body acts and reacts. This understanding comes from being sensitive to my body needs and what it does not need. What I can take or not take with medicine, vitamins, herbs. Do I need to sleep 10-16 hours, should I walk around the block or two blocks? Can I eat what I want? My habit is to eat sweets. I can eat sweets for all three meals and snacks. Eating sweets all day will not help in strengthing my muscles. It takes real endurance on my part in avoiding sweets all day. It takes real endurance on my part when it comes to speaking. I have to make a decision to either sing or anwser, or read out loud or give a talk. My vocal cords are affected by polymyositis. The voice is much better for now but did I learn for myself to recognize that I need to be careful in this area. I need to understand I can no longer swallow a handful of pills, or chug a drink, or swallow without chewing for I can choke. I need to think before I eat/drink. We all need to readjust our thinking as we grow older But for me pride seems to stand in that path.
I did clean up the flower beds. Every year I look forward to edging the beds. My implement, slices through the grass roots that have started to inch themselves into the beds. Creating smells, wafting gently from the damage roots, the soil, the organism in which we cannot see. Holding those clod of soil for just a moment helps me to understand why gardening is so natural for not just me but for many.
It was once said 'to remain whole, be twisted!
To become straight, let yourself be bent.
To become full, be hallow.
Be tattered, that you maybe renewed.'
Until the next time HJ