The weather has been great this past week. A new driveway has been laid and it looks great. We have lived in this house for over thirthy years and never, I mean never have worked on this driveway. Even after both boys started driving nothing. The driveway out by the road the corners have been cut and the little bit yard by the bushes was just a mud hole. For the last few years, I have had only enough strength for work. I went to work and that was it. Just going to work. S the house started to look sad without the loving care it needed. The garage door didn't work, the windows had not been cleaned and that driveway. Just close my eyes and it was gone u til the next day. The flower garden were also pretty sad looking. Now that I am retired I am seeing more of the saddness in the yard. Starting in March when the weather was mild, I started edging the beds and culling out the vinca, lemon balm, and a few other flowers that have over taken the gardens. I am done with both and the yards seem happier. With catching up with the work, around the house, that had been so neglected also seem happier. There are days when I want to curl up and not wanting to see the light of the next morning. How can I continue when I hurt so badly? I can only function taking heavy doses of strong pain medicine. What sort of life is it when it hurts to walk, to sit, to bend down,to move from one spot to another spot? If I ponder to long my current situation in life with a disease without a cure, always progressing to worst pain, never giving me a break, I wonder why continue? It comes down to adjustment. I daily, hourly, each job I need to accomplish, I adjust. I adjust my five senses. The five senses are a flood gate of ceaseless streams providing pleasure for each pain that I feel. I and all others lust for knowledge, knowledge that feeds the mind. With each particle of knowledge, I adjust. I see a weed by the roadside, I wonder what good cand it bring. I see a gnat on the breeze and wonder it's purpose. I look at the gold lined cloud, with it's royal splendor of purple and crimson and wonder at the vaulted heavens and their purpose. Even in pain I hunger for knowledge, I thirst, I strive. From a million fountains bursting forth with cool, crystal droplets of knowledge, I adjust. With each adjustment I forget. I forget the sadness that surrounds my body. It provides a momentary relief from my shackled life. I realize that the door of forgetting, is within my reach. And only I can open that forgetful door.
With a wink and a nod-HeWal