Years back when my sons were younger and my health was good, Ellen would invite a small group over for coffee and sweets. The company would stay for a couple of hours, simply enjoying the moment of conversation. Most of the friends who came over were individuals without a mate or because of age no longer can drive or be invited out. This past Sunday my mother-in-law had such an outing. She had a small group and all invited bought with them a dish to share. In the past the boys and I would fill serve the snacks, filled coffee cups and made sure all had plenty. This was the time for the host, Ellen, to be able to sit and enjoy the visit, since they spent time to make sure all was right. Since Ellen has been sick, Alex and I went to help Connie so she could enjoy the afternoon. We wash dishes, wipe counters, made sure fresh coffee was available. How I enjoyed the afternoon. However I also forget that I have an illness that is very painful. I had taken along some extra pain meds to get through the day. I was so tired by the time I got home. On Monday I felt like a truck ran me over.
I knew better. I knew that I should paced myself, I ignored the pain. Why? I ask that question a lot. Why? Why am I not in control of my body? How is it that I am in this situation? I am still a young enough man who should be still in my prime. Did I do something wrong? Am I being cursed? These negative thoughts can continue for a long time if we allow it.
When I am plagued with such thoughts, I try to immerse myself in a project. Like art, cooking or working outside. These small projects help to occupy my brain and before long the day is almost over. Yes, the negative thoughts are still there, however the time does go by quicker then just siting around sulking.
Something else that helps me is my attitude. I understand it is so easy to preach and easy to tell others how to get by. However since I have been plagued these past years I know what works for me; don't rehearse your woes or beg for sympathy. Don't burden your friends with a long tale of sorrow. It may be that they have even greater grief concealed. To unload your cares upon the back of another is selfish. You never know how great is the pack already, upon their back. The other may be bending beneath a heavier weight than our own. If you have the need to rehearse, rehearse something positive. Force yourself to find something of cheer to pass along. Watch the faces of your friends light up as you lead their thoughts away from gloom and care. You yourself will be lifted also, for others give back to us in kind. To talk happiness forthe world is sad enough without your woes. Look for the places that are smooth and clear. And speak to rest their weary ear. Brightness for brightness, gloom for gloom. The world is a mirror.
With a wink and a nod HeWal